Hail to the Chiefs: Ranking the Ten Most Two-Fisted Action Movie Presidents

“A reunion of the blue-chip screenwriting-and-directing duo of Tony Kushner and Steven Spielberg, and a showcare for the generational acting skills of Daniel Day-Lewis — sorry, that was 2012’s other Lincoln movie, which in focusing on the final three months of our most-revered president’s life omitted every one the Illinois statesman’s totally sick vampire kills.’”

So many jokes had to come out of my Washington Post ranking of the ten most two-fisted action-movie presidents.

Undead Reckoning: "28 Years Later," reviewed.

You can trust him; he’s a doctor. Ralph Fiennes in 28 Years Later.

I don’t know if I need two more of these in the next couple of years, but 28 Years Later, the reunion of director Danny Boyle and screenwriter Alex Garland 23 year after their influential zombie flick 28 Days Later, is pretty great. My Washington City Paper review is here.

Snatching Defeat from the "Jaws" of Victory: A Chronicle of Sequels Unremembered

Can’t believe I forgot to mention that Jaws 3D heel Simon MacCorkindale starred in a short-lived NBC series about a shapeshifting crimefighter called Manimal that premiered two months after the shark three-quel hit cinemas.

Can’t believe I forgot to mention that the boat The Widow Brody uses to impale Jaws the Fourth in Jaws: The Revenge was named Neptune’s Folly.

I did remember to mention that J:TR cast member Mario Van Peebles directed a film 40 years after Jaws called U.S.S. Indianapolis: Men of Courage that dramatized the events Robert Shaw related in his immortal monologue from Jaws, but that was cut for space. Anyway, my contribution to the Paper of Record’s Jaws anniversary package — The Sequels, and a unified theory of sequelology — is here.

Pop Culture Happy Hour: "The Phoenician Scheme"

A new Wes Anderson joint is a cause for celebration if you’re me. I join pal-for-life Glen Weldon and Code Switch host B.A. Parker to scheme, Phoenician-style. My jokes about how Anderson never phoens it in have all been cut.

Dance Macabre: "Ballerina," reviewed

The right to bear de Armas: A girl gets a flamethrower in a flick From the World of John Wick. (Murray Close)

My Washington City Paper review of Ballerina, from the non-wizarding World of John Wick, is here.

Prattle & Hum: "Bono: Stories of Surrender," reviewed.

Unos, dos, tres, catorce! My review of Andrew Dominik’s film of the stage play of this book is one of the three pieces I have in yer Washington Post today.

"Mission: Impossible" and the Deep State

Washington Post Opinions asked me for a piece about my favorite blockbuster franchise’s relationship to Washington. So I wrote about that, but also about my dad.

"Mission: Impossible — The Final Reckoning," reviewed.

Tom Cruise has yet another plane to catch in The Final Reckoning. (Paramount)

Any new Mission flick is the start of a long relationship for me, and as with 2023’s Dead Reckoning, my estimation of the new one went up on a second viewing. It’s still a goddamn mess, though.

My Washington City Paper review of Mission: Impossible — The Final Reckoning, the eighth and perhaps-but-also-perhaps-not climactic MIssion is here.