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Reacher versus the Cybertruck: "War Machine," review.

Chris Klimek

This isn’t the type of film where you’d recall the names of any characters anyway, but because it’s set during Ranger selection, most of the characters have no names, just numbers. Ritchson is No. 81. James is No. 7. Millie Bobby Bongiovi née Brown is … not involved in this Netflix project.

My Vulture review of the latest Netflix movie to carry the title War Machine is here.

Ghost Tour: "Paranormal Activity," reviewed.

Chris Klimek

Travis A. Knight and Cher Álvarez sleep with, on average, one eye open. (Teresa Castracane)

The canon of horror plays is, um, frightfully small. I haven’t seen the Stranger Things Broadway show, but I had a good time at Keegan Theater’s slimmed-down version of the West End staple The Woman in Black a decade or so back. (Fact Check: It was in a fact a dozen years ago, plus a couple months. Jesus.) But that had nothing on Paranormal Activity, a touring production related in name only to the eponymous found-footage scary-move franchise, My Washington Post review is here.

Snake Oil: "Anaconda, reviewed."

Chris Klimek

Jack Black and Paul Rudd can’t save this ssssssssssstinker. (Sony Pictures)

You’ll want to sit down and do some exercises to limber up your brain before you try to process their supernova of perverse inspiration: Their new “Anaconda” is no mere reboot but in fact a midlife-crisis comedy about four pals who travel from Buffalo to the Amazon (as played by Queensland, Australia) to knock out a no-budget, guerilla-style remake of the 1997 Sony Pictures trash classic “Anaconda,” a fondly recalled object from their youths.

Still on the fence? Your stars are Paul Rudd and Jack Black, those winningly youthful 56-year-olds whose shtick is, like Rudd’s face, evergreen.

My Washington Post review of Anaconda, a toothless nomedy, is here.

All Hail "One Jingle After Another — Yuletunes Eclectic and Inexplicable XX: A Christmas Adventurers Adventure"

Chris Klimek

My twentieth holiday mixtape, One Jingle After Another, hath arrived to facilitate your hall-decking and gay appparel-donning. Kick out the jams, Christmas-lovers.

Blue Man Regroup: "Avatar: Fire and Ash," reviewed.

Chris Klimek

He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake…(20th Century Studios)

I wish I could give a more full-throated endorsement to the third, not-as-long-awaited Avatar, but I’m starting to have some real reservations about my first favorite filmmaker’s life’s work. My Washington City Paper review is here. You can also hear me discuss the movie with Stephen Thompson and Reanna Cruz on Pop Culture Happy Hour below.