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Everybody Ben-Hurts: Wherein I answer all your questions about the new (fourth) big-screen adaption of the 19th century novel <em>Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ</em> except "Why?"

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Everybody Ben-Hurts: Wherein I answer all your questions about the new (fourth) big-screen adaption of the 19th century novel Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ except "Why?"

Chris Klimek

 Jack Huston, who is descended from showbiz royalty but in no way related to Keanu Reeves,&nbsp;and Toby Kebbell in the fourth movie version of Lew Wallace's 1880 novel  Ben-Hur.

Jack Huston, who is descended from showbiz royalty but in no way related to Keanu Reeves, and Toby Kebbell in the fourth movie version of Lew Wallace's 1880 novel Ben-Hur.

Here's is the sort of sterling-quality joke that got whittled from what started out as a straight-up review of the new, Timur Bekmambetov-directed adaptation of Ben-Hur, but quickly turned into this.

EDITOR: Agreed. So they got an actor of Middle Eastern descent?

KLIMEK: They got a guy from Memphis.

EDITOR: You mean Memphis, Egypt?

KLIMEK: I do not. His name is Morgan Freeman.

EDITOR: I have heard of him.

KLIMEK: He has been in some other movies.

You can't blame me for digging in to the little differences between new and old, especially in light of the fact that Ben-Hur '59 is a venerable classic that I first saw when I was whatever age I was last Saturday night.