Everybody Ben-Hurts: Wherein I answer all your questions about the new (fourth) big-screen adaption of the 19th century novel Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ except "Why?"
Here's is the sort of sterling-quality joke that got whittled from what started out as a straight-up review of the new, Timur Bekmambetov-directed adaptation of Ben-Hur, but quickly turned into this.
EDITOR: Agreed. So they got an actor of Middle Eastern descent?
KLIMEK: They got a guy from Memphis.
EDITOR: You mean Memphis, Egypt?
KLIMEK: I do not. His name is Morgan Freeman.
EDITOR: I have heard of him.
KLIMEK: He has been in some other movies.
You can't blame me for digging in to the little differences between new and old, especially in light of the fact that Ben-Hur '59 is a venerable classic that I first saw when I was whatever age I was last Saturday night.